Time flies when you have ADD

A brief post on where I am now.

I found out earlier this year that I have ADD, and through other research on the connection for many people between ADD and addictions, it seems I have found a vital missing piece to help explain the brain chemistry behind why on earth I would keep doing things that I know are harming me. Even though I know what to do to be healthy, I just won't consistently do it.

I am not shrugging off my responsibilities, nor giving up in any way. One book I read had a very keen quote- "It's not your fault, but it is your problem." Knowing you have ADD means you have the responsibility to lead an interesting life that will keep your brain stimulated in healthy ways, and happy.

So "practice make progress" which is another keen quote from that book. Part of what that means is not to strive for perfection, but for progress. More importantly it means that by practicing healthy new habits every day, including every meal, you are making progress towards better health, and better lifelong habits.

"Habits are roads. Build the ones to take you to where you want to be." That is one of mine. Our habits take us along in life, they are what we do when we are not really paying attention. Bad habits take us to bad places, bad food, bad health, feeling like crap. When you are driving to New York from San Francisco, you take the road that will actually eventually get you to New York. You don't just keep driving on the roads you already know that keep you in SF,  or drive partway to New York then drift off south and end up in a missile test range in Nevada. So why would you keep following habits that take you in circles or to miserable places? Build the habits that it takes to get you to the beautiful fun places. Every meal counts, every choice of what you put in your basket, car, house, mouth, they all count. They are all real. Every choice needs to be evaluated as "Will it make me feel better 20 minutes from now? A day, week or year from now?" Not just the first few bites, or what you thought you wanted that minute, but for the long run. Not only steps on the road, but actual road building.

Just so you don't think this is the same "willpower" BS that you have all heard before, I am talking about all your habits including play, exercise, and sleep.

First of all don't let anyone bully you about this mythical "willpower". Willpower is really just glucose. All of your body cells burn only glucose for all of their energy. They take the food you eat, store the fats for later, pee away the excess protein (taking calcium from your bones with it), and actually use the carbohydrates to make glucose. Your brain is the biggest consumer of this fuel and uses about 20% of your daily glucose production. So when you get tired, stressed out, and have been thinking and struggling with food choices your brain burns through most of your available glucose leaving you burned out and low on "willpower",  and at that point your brain will agree to almost anything to get that fuel going again. Bottom line is don't get low on fuel, have a healthy snack before you burn out and eat junk, at least be aware that the low glucose can affect your decisions and ability to think clearly. (More on that in other posts as well, including research about parole boards, and the connections between the times of day they reviewed cases and parole approval rates. Very unfair for the inmates who were seen just before lunch, or at the end of the day.)

So don't blame yourself for running out of "willpower", any more than you would blame your car for running out of gas. Get the right fuel and you will be fine.

Back to building the right roads. I am talking about all kinds of habits, not just food choices. I my case it is changing the habits that allow me to focus my revved up ADD brain away from the damaging ones of hyper-stimulating processed food dopamine rushes, into new healthier ways to deal with that sometimes "desperate for a fix" feeling. "Healthy Fixes" one very interesting book calls them (more on that in another post.) So instead of self-medicating with drug "foods", I am working on building more structure and schedule into my life, more routine around healthy habits. A strategy for solving a problem becomes a rule and then a habit. Once it is a habit it is much easier to follow and be free. For me that includes things like getting up to an alarm everyday to go for a brief walk just at sunrise, making myself read 30 mins of only one book each day until I actually finish it (instead of having 8 books going and not really finishing them), using a planner to lay out at least 3 things I need to accomplish each day, working on them and maybe adding 3 more things. The structure helps me focus and that is what I was using the drug "foods" for.

I will post the books titles and links soon, it's almost midnight and I have to get up for a nice walk tomorrow before school.